It is because of this focus on negativity that I am unsure as to whether having a diagnosis of a mental illness is helpful or not. Whilst on one level it can offer understanding and reasoning, it also can be detrimental to ones recovery. I know this from first hand experience.
As miserable and sad as one may be, I found that once I was labelled as having depression I had an excuse to be the way I was. It was the reason to not get out of bed and to isolate myself.
This only became more evident after I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder
The disorder is made up of number of personality traits and behaviours displayed such as impulsive behaviours (often risk taking), self harm/suicide attempts, fears of abandonment and rejection, unstable relationships, self-image issues and emotional instability. When I was first diagnosed it was a huge relief. Finally there was something that I could identify with. Upon reading and researching about the condition I felt like I was reading about myself and it started to give me some clarity.
What I didn't realise though is that I was using my research in a negative manner. If I was confronted about drinking alcohol to excess, I would turn around and say "You don't understand this is how I am, part of Borderline Personality is impulsive behaviour. I can't help it".
My diagnosis became an escape mechanism. It was the answer to being questioned about my bad behaviours. It was an excuse for acting the way I did. I expected people to understand and appreciate that I am this way because I have this disorder and I can't help it.
It wasn't until I started seeing my current psychologist that I realised how negatively this label of a disorder was impacting me, and others around me. Whilst having the diagnosis still offers me peace of mind in knowing that I am not alone in the way I am, I don't see it as defining who I am and my behaviours anymore. Whilst I do have all of the traits and difficulties that are symptomatic of the disorder, I also know that I am a loving, caring, considerate, friendly, gentle, loyal and understanding person.
I found this image online and had to share it; it made me smile and I am sure anyone that is familiar with Borderline Personality will also get a giggle out of it. It is nice to see the humorous side to a confronting mental illness.
